Sunday, October 26, 2008

Blogging To Be Known


This Blogging thing is new to me but it's not really new. Frankly, blogging is simply journaling, online. At least that's the way I look at it. I've been journaling for a long time now and, actually, it can be therapeutic. The difference is, with blogging, you're putting your thoughts out there for the world to see. That can be very risky, yet hundreds of thousands of people do it every day. But why?

How are we to understand this desire people have to reveal their innermost thoughts? Perhaps it's because we want to be known, yet accepted. Acceptance is a big deal. It's such a big deal, in fact, that people pretend to be something they are not just so they'll be accepted. Let's park on this idea for a minute.

Nobody knows us better than we know ourselves. The scary thing is, even though we know ourselves we still sometimes become confused about who we are—why we make some of the decisions we make; why we say some of the things we say. Learning how to get a handle on who we are is a daily challenge. God knew it would be a challenge and warned us in his word. Think about it. This is why we're told we need to control our tongue; we're told to crucify the flesh; we're told to put to death the old man and put on the new man, daily. Why? I think it's because it is in our nature to not be totally honest with ourselves. We like to think more highly of ourselves than we ought to. More than this, we want others to think more highly of us than perhaps they ought to. Even the most humble person, known for being a real sweet person, if they are honest with themselves, would have to admit that it feels real good to hear others say how sweet and humble they are. Everybody likes a little praise. We have to attribute this to our sinful nature. None of us are immune to it.

Anyway, as I started to say at the beginning of this train of thought, I am struck by the idea that we want to be known, yet accepted. This is to say, we long to have someone who will accept us, in spite of knowing us (our personality flaws, our struggles, our imperfections, our short comings, our hidden sins) and love us anyway. Think about it. Isn't this one of the true acts of love, for someone to know us but accept and love us anyway? We experience this on a micro scale through loving relationships with our best friends, our spouse, our parents, our children. Admit it. It feels good to be accepted. The direct opposite of this is rejection. And I'm sure you'd agree that rejection doesn't feel so good. In fact, rejection has driven a number of people away from other human beings, home, and family. They retreat into seclusion, depression or even self destruction and this is a bad thing.

So the bottom line is, we all desire acceptance. Even the folks who say they can care less about it, if they confront themselves honestly, will have to admit that being accepted is, at the very least, a real good feeling.

This brings me to the crux of the matter. No one knows us better than God. And, in spite of knowing us, he accepts us. More than this, in spite of knowing our messed up, mixed up ways, he loves us. The desire to be known, I think, is innate and longs to be satisfied. Ultimately, God is the only one who can satisfy this longing. The climax of being known (to the extent the longing to be known will be completely satisfied) will occur when we are one with him, in heaven.

Perhaps this idea of being known can be, in some measure, related to 1 Corinthians 13:12 "For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known." Won't it be wonderful when your honest, raw, innermost secrets are revealed and laid bare and yet still be accepted? I mean, I know that God knows all that stuff about us now and that down here we still wrestle with the guilt of it. However, in heaven, it won't even cross our minds.

In the meantime, I guess people, in their effort to be known, will continue to put their thoughts out there on a blog. How much will they reveal? I guess it depends upon what kind of blogging they do. I'm still fleshing out exactly what type of blog I want to do. I think I've decided I want to put my honest, raw thoughts out there. The reason for this is because I believe that there are other Jesus Followers who can identify with the honest and raw. There are too many believers who hide behind masks and make themselves look a whole lot better than they really are. As a healthy alternative, it can be refreshing to experience the honest, transparent and raw.

I just thought of something. Sometimes one way we can come to know ourselves better, is through someone else revealing themselves. It certainly is true: just like iron sharpens iron, one human being interacting with (or coming to know) another human being results in a sharpening of one another. As believers in Jesus and members of the family of God, that sharpening is for the better.

At least this is how the whole thing is being processed in the heart and mind of Victor.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Finding God In Wal-Mart


I wonder if people really think about their purpose in life.

I suppose that people list all kinds of reasons for their purpose in life. I was sitting in Wal-Mart on the bench near the pharmacy. Cynthia was pushing the cart around being sure to get all those essentials we must have been lacking or had depleted (like toothpaste). I was feeling a bit melancholy…quite a bit melancholy. Don’t know why I was feeling that way. I just was. I suppose we all get that way at times (melancholy, I mean). As I sat there, a kid rolled by on those sneakers with the wheels built into the soles. A woman happened by with an expression that revealed she was on a desperate quest for some essential item that would bring completeness to her life (probably toothpaste). A handsome guy who looked like he was from a magazine add strolled past, followed by a woman who was a shoe-in for the add on the next page. A mother walks by with a look of disgust on her face. Not far behind is her little boy whirling and twirling, making sound effects (Bang! Pow! Whap! Bap!). He was obviously playing out his fantasy of being a super hero or crime fighter. Heck! Who knows? In this day and age he could have been pretending to be the villain.

As I scanned the scene passing before my eyes it was if the camera of my mind suddenly panned back to reveal that there were literally dozens upon dozens of folks in the store. I know that they were there for a purpose. They had come to purchase some need or want. However, the thought crossed my mind, how many people here ever think about their purpose in life. Do they think about the fact that life is more than food or drink (or toothpaste)? How many of them have given thought concerning the condition of their soul? How many had come to the realization that, apart from Christ, life is meaningless. Suddenly, I was also reminded of just how meaningless my life would be without Christ.

I thought back about how passionate I became to live for Him; to the extent that I felt I had to leave the path I was pursuing (literally, leave my job and put my family on a tight budget) and go to bible college in order to be trained for ministry. I would be lying if I said there were not times that I second guessed that decision over the years. Thankfully, now, those moments are little more than passing thoughts. Still, when one becomes melancholy and entrenched in deep contemplation, even moments of passing thoughts can seem like hours.

My mother has told me for years that God had a purpose for my life. When I was young He revealed that purpose. I was to serve in the church as a volunteer. When I was dating Cynthia, he revealed that purpose was to take this godly woman to be my wife and for us serve him as one. When we had our first child, I realized that God was telling me my purpose was to be a godly father. When I got older and was on the road to success he revealed that purpose was to change my focus to full-time ministry. In these middle years of my life it seems God’s purpose is for me to pastor a church. The real truth of the matter is, I have come to realize that all the events of my life have been stepping stones to take me to the next level, the next phase, to one step closer to fulfilling God’s purpose for my life.

Honestly, do we ever really know? Can we ever really get our arms around God’s plan and how we fit into it? I think not. It is too lofty for us to comprehend. We must satisfy ourselves with the knowledge that we are, indeed, a part of it. By "it" I mean to say His plan. If, by the grace of God, I finish well and find myself sitting looking out of a window, full of years and eyes growing dim, I will be acknowledging that God’s purpose for my life, at that moment, is to be a wise old man, imparting words of wisdom to some young lad who is wrestling with finding his purpose in life.

There are a lot of Wal-Marts and an awfully lot of people in them. There are a lot of people wandering the isles looking for needs and wants. I pray that the overwhelming majority of them find that they desperately need Jesus and will then allow him to move their lives through the steps that will transform them, ever transform them. Just like he is ever transforming you and me. Until, one day, we shall all be like him, for we shall see him as he is (1 John. 3:3).

As I sat in Wal-Mart, these were the thoughts that were in my heart and on my mind.